I’ve been dragging my heart behind me
Its heavy and wrapped wrapped up in chains
These chains are covered in blood
This blood is staining my sand
Nourishing my ground
I keep looking back down at my heart
Sometimes I steal glances around , looking for you
I try not let anybody notice
"Your fear is contagious "
I said
And I fear everyone brave enough to love me
Brave enough to tell me I'm beautiful
I've tried everything ,you know
I've tried everything I know
Yet I still hear echos of our story in the blinding silence
I wait for those echos
And I make sure nobody knows so that they don't make a sound
You haven't made up your mind
And I haven't picked up my heart yet
Nobody is winning
And nobody is wrong
Yet its nobody's fault and mine.
Your fear is contagious
I hold back even when I'm vulnerable
And I thought it was strength
my voice shaken and dimmed
In the hopes of finding the distant echo of your sigh
I need to pick up my heart
I need to stop crying in silence
I need to stop burying my feet in the sand
I need to stop worrying about the blood stains on the ground
And that's what I need
I don't need you, and I say this with my bleeding heart trembling in the cold chains
I claim this in disbelief
So I need to believe
I'm trying not to wait for you. I'm picking my heart up
I'm sorry if I'm not brave enough to love you in this hectic wait
I'm sorry you're not brave enough to love me in this thick air
I'm not the butterfly with the broken wing under the mercy of your helpless love and augmented freedom
I'm a human being, made with flesh and bones and a heart in a chain leaving a trail of blood in awe of any love but yours.